I had previously written, very excitedly, about my mastery of (well, maybe not “mastery of” but progress with) the crane pose in my yoga practice. I was so excited to get this one down–a tricky balance posture that had evaded me for many years.
While I was pregnant, I did continue doing yoga until I was about 8 months along. Since giving birth, it has been difficult getting back into a routine, but I have been working on it and feeling quite proud every time I roll out the mat, regardless of how dusty my yoga is.
This morning I was excited to do a series of postures that included crane for the first time since I’ve been back at it. But, it did not go well. I struggled to fit my body into what has become a very unfamiliar shape, teetering forward or to the side. My wrists, bent and weathered from carrying at 15 lb. baby, didn’t have the right sort of strength to hold me up. The creases of my hips, obviously changed since childbirth, just didn’t seem willing to fold the right way.
I shouldn’t be surprised. My body has bounced back pretty well after having Linden. But there is no question that it is forever changed. I don’t mind it so much–the hips a little wider, my stomach a little softer. The difference is minor and overall I still feel like “me.” But the effort to fit into crane highlighted the subtle changes that even I hadn’t noticed.
It’s not worth despairing over. I feel confident that if I am able to keep up my practice, I’ll find crane again, even if the shape of it is slightly different. Sometimes big changes throw us off or chip away at progress in one area of our life, even while improving another.
My crane struggle reflects, in a small way, some of that golden wisdom from my mother that you shouldn’t expect to have it all, all at once.
Have there been times in your life when progress in one area eroded progress in another?